TOP TEN WAYS MIDDLE AGE IS STRANGLING ME IN ITS KUDZU EMBRACE

12157507-a-funny-or-silly-woman-looking-up-smiling-holding-a-valentines-heart-wearing-pink-isolated-on-a-whit

10. Fiber has become my bff.
9.    I wonder when I hung photos of my great aunt Lois all over the house, then realize I’m looking at mirrors.
8.   Sensible shoes.
7.   I can remember when capris were called pedal pushers or clam diggers.
6.   I used to be offended when I still got carded before being served; now I’m offended when I’m offered the senior citizen’s discount after being served.
5.   Contacts or glasses? Doesn’t matter, because I can’t see well with either anymore.
4.   Fun and flirty or weird and creepy? Too close to call.
3.   I offered to share my box of Nips with a young coworker, and she said, “Oh, that’s the candy old people like!”
2.   At least those stray facial hairs are less visible now that they’re turning grey.
.
.
.
1.   During my last physical, the doctor happily announced that my uterus is shrinking right on schedule.

Ew. Just ew.

~lisa

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “TOP TEN WAYS MIDDLE AGE IS STRANGLING ME IN ITS KUDZU EMBRACE

  1. I feel for ya Sister. However, you’re so lucky being a woman. Some man on the radio reminds me everyday about losing half of my testosterone and havin a lil labeato 🙂

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s