10. Fiber has become my bff.
9. I wonder when I hung photos of my great aunt Lois all over the house, then realize I’m looking at mirrors.
8. Sensible shoes.
7. I can remember when capris were called pedal pushers or clam diggers.
6. I used to be offended when I still got carded before being served; now I’m offended when I’m offered the senior citizen’s discount after being served.
5. Contacts or glasses? Doesn’t matter, because I can’t see well with either anymore.
4. Fun and flirty or weird and creepy? Too close to call.
3. I offered to share my box of Nips with a young coworker, and she said, “Oh, that’s the candy old people like!”
2. At least those stray facial hairs are less visible now that they’re turning grey.
1. During my last physical, the doctor happily announced that my uterus is shrinking right on schedule.
Ew. Just ew.